missing the nights when I wanted to go to bed early so I could think about her alone and no one could interrupt the chain of surreal thoughts;
I miss the unusually calm evenings when the child in me wanted to say something but could manage only to secretly slip a story book with a birthday message, through the iron gate of her house;
missing the state of mind when I never got angry over anything, even when the anger prevailed, the mere thought of her used to calm down the nerves;
missing those long brisk walks from my home to hers in the night, feeling satisfied that if not her, atleast touched the street she lives on;
and the mere thought of her appearing in front of me on that shiny street in Karnal would raise the goosebumps, I miss those goosebumps as well;
I miss those several moments when I sat with the friends wishing that somehow she be discussed for some reason and when her name was announced, I smiled secretly, I miss those secret smiles;
I miss riding past her on my cycle just near the Police line;
I miss the scent of those long coveted letters;
I miss that first kiss;
I miss the taste of her lips lingering in my heart;
I miss those very long phone calls and the tricky evenings when I used to disconnect the phone's extension line from my dad's room so that when the phone rings in the night, only I am the witness to it;
I miss the unending conversations on phone and my craving to still have another, for now, I can't withstand a phone call of more than a few minutes;
I miss the long drives on my bike while she sat on the back seat of my Enfield holding me firmly on those curvy Delhi roads;
I miss waiting for her outside her office to pick her up and then suddenly looking at my gleaming face in the bike's mirror as I saw her approaching towards me;
I miss those hugs which often ended with a kiss;
I miss the nights spent together under the starry ether talking of our favourite songs, the melodies of the songs "Tum jo mil gaye ho" and "Khayi hai re humne kaam" still haunt me and the hauntings make me miss the moment even more;
I miss the wonderful women who have once made me feel alive and as I miss the moments with them, my heart still misses a beat.... Only to make me realise that I am still alive.
