Missing the feeling of falling in love

Missing the feeling of falling in love.... Missing those never ending dreams;
missing the nights when I wanted to go to bed early so I could think about her alone and no one could interrupt the chain of surreal thoughts;
I miss the unusually calm evenings when the child in me wanted to say something but could manage only to secretly slip a story book with a birthday message, through the iron gate of her house;
missing the state of mind when I never got angry over anything, even when the anger prevailed, the mere thought of her used to calm down the nerves;
missing those long brisk walks from my home to hers in the night, feeling satisfied that if not her, atleast touched the street she lives on;
and the mere thought of her appearing in front of me on that shiny street in Karnal would raise the goosebumps, I miss those goosebumps as well;
I miss those several moments when I sat with the friends wishing that somehow she be discussed for some reason and when her name was announced, I smiled secretly, I miss those secret smiles;
I miss riding past her on my cycle just near the Police line;
I miss the scent of those long coveted letters; 
I miss that first kiss;
I miss the taste of her lips lingering in my heart;
I miss those very long phone calls and the tricky evenings when I used to disconnect the phone's extension line from my dad's room so that when the phone rings in the night, only I am the witness to it;
I miss the unending conversations on phone and my craving to still have another, for now, I can't withstand a phone call of more than a few minutes;
I miss the long drives on my bike while she sat on the back seat of my Enfield holding me firmly on those curvy Delhi roads;
I miss waiting for her outside her office to pick her up and then suddenly looking at my gleaming face in the bike's mirror as I saw her approaching towards me;
I miss those hugs which often ended with a kiss;
I miss the nights spent together under the starry ether talking of our favourite songs, the melodies of the songs "Tum jo mil gaye ho" and "Khayi hai re humne kaam" still haunt me and the hauntings make me miss the moment even more;
I miss the wonderful women who have once made me feel alive and as I miss the moments with them, my heart still misses a beat.... Only to make me realise that I am still alive.

A Kiss To Remember

Slowly caressing his head with her fingers, she leaned on to his face. As he felt her breath, he tried to move up his face slightly towards hers without making his attempt obvious. Their eyes lidded, his doe-eyes frozen into her glimmering two. A few seconds passed with both in the same bewitched state. The warmth of their breaths touched their faces hidden behind the curtain of her curls. The more they both resisted, the stronger they were pulled into it. And then like two hypnotized bodies, both gave in to each other. His aquiline nose rubbed against her snub nose. Her lips, rosier than ever touched his. The heavier breaths made it hot on that usually cold January day. A lip lock followed, the first of its kind and the longest, for both of them would realize that much later. Seconds and then minutes passed, the bodies resisted any attempt to be separated. One of the Newton’s laws at its working best (you can make out that an engineer is writing here). After a few more intense moments, she felt her mouth aching. He too might have felt the same as the sealed lips were slowly released from the “never let go” grip of each other. They both looked at each other’s lips, red-hot & swollen radiating the wild energy of two teenage lovers. What a beautiful way to express love that was, and how long did it take for them to experience the taste of the nectar. The aroma of those bodies, the ambience of that room, the eloquent but fixated eyes, those luscious lips and above all those tears falling effortlessly from her eyes bear a very special place in their hearts together. Their teenage has left them long time back but their bright & vulnerable souls, which brought those pious tears still celebrate that fortunate moment. Even today after these long nineteen years, however apart they both were, whenever they will think of their first kiss, both of them will notice that their hearts just skipped a beat, together, yet again.

Surprising Humans

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

When the Cosmos becomes me

As I start a journey today to find myself by sharing my deeper being, I see my future with open eyes. I see myself as somebody who can see through the bodies..... nah.... it's no scientific experiment which would give me an X-Ray vision...:) It is more on abstract level where I feel that one fine day I will reach the state where my Heart, Mind, Body and Soul will be in complete sync with each other. When they will acknowledge the powerful presence of each other and will get to an understanding to express themselves clearly without any prejudice; that moment, I will be able to express myself freely, in an unadulterated and uninhibited original form. That moment my energies will connect me with the entire creation and that moment I will become the Cosmos and the Cosmos will become me.

 

That moment when time witnesses the site of most un-hindered form of expression, it will remove the veils of the millions  of souls in front of me and that moment, I will see through the bodies....

 

I work to reach to that state and I wait for that moment. 

 

- V R Bhardwaj